Frequently Asked Questions
When bad things happen to us the first thing we want and need to do is establish the significance of the event. Friends of Jacqueline Kennedy were shocked when, almost immediately after the President’s assassination, she compulsively asked people, “Do you want to hear about it?” and rattled off each frame of that terrible sequence in her soft, shaken voice. She had to share the experience. That is establishing significance and it is human nature.
We see the same reaction when someone has surgery or has recovered from an illness. There is an almost insatiable need to talk about the surgery or the illness. We need to talk in order to work through the impact the event has had on our lives.
If we can establish significances, we can move on; if we can’t, grief and grieving become a much more difficult and delayed process.
Should we view the body?
While we encourage the family to view their loved one, every family must make that choice for themselves. If the choice is made to not view, our professional staff will do the utmost to ensure that your family finds other means to face the reality of the loss.
Viewing can give reality and the first step of a healthy grief experience. This may seem like a terrible ordeal to put a grieving person through, but it is hard to find reality without it. Sometimes efforts to avoid viewing often leave far too much for the imagination, and the imagination can make it worse than it was in reality. Again, viewing is a personal choice, only you can decide what is best for your situation. Our staff will be here to answer any questions, and give you any information you may need to help guide you through this decision.
What about the children?
We tend to try to protect children from any contact with death, and it is natural to want to shield them from having to face such things until they are older. However the truth is that children need to grieve, and our efforts to protect children leave everything to their imagination, when their imagination can be more intense and frightening than reality. Our staff will gladly assist you in guiding your children through this difficult time. We give opportunities for the children to watch informational children’s DVDs, and have coloring books and other books available that may help explain the funeral process. We also encourage the children to write letters or draw pictures to their loved one that may be placed in the casket, this may help children express their final goodbye.
How can we make the service personal?
Far too often funerals seem to be the same. We feel that a funeral should be unique to the person being honored, which is why we go the extra mile to make sure the service is distinctive to the loved one. Our memorial cards not only contain one’s obituary, but they tell a story of an individual life. We also create tribute videos with music and photos to display a lifetime of memories. These are just a glimpse of the services that we provide to ensure your loved one with the tribute that they deserve. With every detail a loved one’s life is displayed through the services we provide.
What decisions will I have to make?
There are many decisions to be made when planning a funeral, and we are here to help you through this process. Listed below are a few of the common decisions to make when planning a funeral.
Clergy or Speaker
Normally a clergy person of the church you attend is called to officiate the funeral service. If you do not wish to have a religious service, a family member or friend may perform the service or we can help you to find the appropriate individual.
Music can tell a story. If you are having a service at a church, clergy will often assist in preparing the music for a funeral. You may also choose appropriate music for a prayer service and/or tribute video. This music can be religious, tell a story, or simply be a favorite of your loved one.
Photos are a great way to remember a person’s life. We encourage you to bring in meaningful photos for use of display, memorial cards, and/or a tribute video.
There are no rules or a particular dress that is better than the other. Many people choose suites and dresses or some choose work cloths, the important thing is to best express who the person was, and how the family would like to remember them.
We have a wide variety of choices available to fit into any budget. We will assist you in any way to find the best choice for your loved one.View casket/urn/vault selections.
Although many families have made arrangements for burial spaces long before the time it is needed. Some are faced with these decisions at the time of death. We will provide resources and cemetery information that will help you with this decision.
It is a great honor to be chosen as a pallbearer for a friend or family member. We recommend four to eight individuals assisting with the casket. Many families may wish to contact the pallbearers themselves; however, we will gladly make these arrangements for you.
The decisions may seem overwhelming; just remember we will be here to help you through every step of the way. Our goal is to lift any extra burden that may be felt while planning a meaningful funeral.